Well, well, well. If it isn't Mr. "This Year Will Be Different, I Swear." Even if you don't want to admit it to yourself, you already kind of know you're going to leave your costume to the last minute, don't you? Figures. What else is new? I'm not mad, man. I'm disappointed. You're better than this. Listen, I'm a generous guy. I'm going to bail you out one more time, but come October 2021 you're on your own. Ah, who am I kidding? I could never desert you in your time of need. It must be your lucky day, dude, because we're going to turn this near catastrophe into costume perfection. As Patton might put it: pressure makes diamonds. And I'm ready to polish this baby 'till it gleams.
So chill out, pal. If your whole plan is frantically plumbing the depths of your closet for anything that looks remotely Halloween-ready in a desperate bid to put together a halfway-decent costume on the fly, stop your plumbing. The pros are here. And we've come with a handy list of inspiration specifically made with all your last-minute costume needs in mind. Hell, most of what you're going to want is likely already within grabbing distance, and if you're starting to get a little panicky about shit arriving in time for the big day, chances are you won't even have to order anything new.
Because with a little bit of imagination and a few basic wardrobe staples, you're well on your way to being the best-dressed dude at any damn shindig you're invited to. Even if it's virtual.
HBO
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Murray Bartlett in 'The White Lotus'
Got a bunch of tropical shirts that demand to be seen other than those family BBQs you find yourself at every summer? Bring your favorite top out to play and go as the hotel manager, Armond, from HBO's latest hit, The White Lotus.
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'If One Can Toucan' Floral Short Sleeve Silk Button-Up Shirt
Toucan's and tropical flowers: a match made in Hawaiian shirt heaven.
Danno Nell
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Kevin Costner in 'Yellowstone'
Head to your closet and grab your most Western-looking jacket, throw on some jeans, and pick up a cowboy hat because you're going as John Dutton this Hallows Eve. After all, season four is right around the corner, and it's time to celebrate accordingly.
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Faux Felt Western Hat
You, too, can embrace the yeehaw lifestyle for under $20, thanks to this affordable cowboy hat.
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Jimi Hendrix
It's been a little over 50 years since the rocker's passing, and to this day, there are few performers who so perfectly embody the sexed-up exuberance of late '60s style. So if you've got a floral shirt lying around, throw on some hip-huggers and as many bracelets as you can and pour one out for Young Jimi.
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Tiergarten Floral Button-Up Shirt
A tropical-printed ensemble that will look even better beyond October 31.
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Wes Anderson
Sure, you could go as any of the now-iconic characters from the director's whimsical universe, but if you're looking to stand out from the pack, why not dress up as the man himself? Grab a silk knit tie and some Wallabees, and then add corduroy. Lots and lots of corduroy.
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Corduroy Blazer
Have we mentioned you'll need to wear lots and lots of corduroy yet?
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Kurt Cobain at the MTV Awards
The bug-eyed clout goggles. The tattered denim. The baby bottle. C'mon. This shit is too easy.
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Retro Oval Sunglasses
With these shades ringing up for under $10, you can't not do this costume.
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Matthew Broderick in 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off'
It's a testament to Broderick's goofball charm that I was able to focus on anything other than this fit when I first saw the movie because, goddamn, it's good. Like, "You should definitely wear this when it's not Halloween" good.
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Button Up Costume Sweater Vest
They have a replica of Buller's sweet '80s vest on Amazon. C'mon, it doesn't get easier than this.
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Frank Ocean at Paris Fashion Week
One of the best damn fits of 2019 also makes for an incredible and incredibly easy costume. (If you don't already own some form of all the pieces here—bag included!—you should.)
Daddy's number one boy dresses the part in a tightly edited wardrobe filled with largely anodyne billionaire basics and a personal style that could best be described as hostile-takeover chic. Affect a look of dead-eyed determination and you're already halfway there.
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Starwood Down Blazer
We like to think this jacket would be Kendall Roy-approved.
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Dan Levy
Emulating any of Levy's outfits from his star-making turn as David Rose in Schitt's Creek is always a good idea, but this Halloween why not make like the man himself and copy his spectacular Emmys night get-up?
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Stowaway Utility Kilt
This one has not one but six pockets in total. What more do you need?
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Will Smith in 'Bad Boys'
C'mon, man. It's time to get on board with the mock neck. If you're still having trouble committing to the look, let Will Smith—and all his effortless cool—help convince you.
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Mock Turtleneck Pullover Sweater
You got your mock neck now. All you need now is an out-there belt. We recommend taking this style for a spin.
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Jack Dorsey
The Twitter co-founder is an improbable—and easily imitated—style hero (his penchant for all things Rick Owens certainly doesn't hurt) whose closet skews as dark as any of the remotest corners of the hellish platform he helped create.
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Rick Owens x Champion Worker Windbreaker
Of course, we had to include our boy Rick. This nylon windbreaker is courtesy of the designer's second collaboration with the sportswear label Champion.
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Harry Styles at the Met Gala (or Anywhere, Really)
Do you have a friend with a sheer black top you've been low-key eyeing for a while? Pair it with a flowing pair of black trousers and one (1) dangly earring, and you've unlocked the secret to Harry Styles' banger of a look at 2019's Met Gala.
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Regular Fit Ruffle Front Mesh Shirt in Black
I present to you the coolest button-up you'll ever own.
Marvel Studios
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Nick Fury
Eye patch. All black. Boom. (Bald head recommended.)
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Adjustable Eye Patch
Also good if you decide to switch to a pirate costume at thelast last minute.
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'70s Elton John
Elton John's style has always veered on the, ah, wild side, but when the star was first coming up his look wasn't as elaborate. Plaster a denim jacket in patches, find some large—and I mean large—sunglasses, and you're there.
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Mr. Rogers
All this costume takes is a cardigan sweater (preferably red, of course), a pair of crisp chinos, and some super simple sneakers. Dust that hair with some silver dye (or even some baby powder, in a pinch), and voila: You are now officially one of the most beloved television personalities of all time.
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Lambswool Long-Sleeve Shawl Collar Cardigan
Grandpa's go-to cardigan is looking real good right now.
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